Here's your beer and your ceegar, next time bring yer own, hell I didn't take ya ta raise.
Contents
It's me in the flesh, well not quite.
Well let me begin by telling ya'all that my birthdate is March 3rd, 1948, that makes me 51 years old for those of you who may not have access to a calculator. It also gives me the opportunity to throw in my birthday in case you want to send me something nice, I'm partial to jewelry and music and not necessarily in that order.
I was born in a small town in Southern Illinois and got my primary and secondary education in this small town and thats allright by me, the only thing we had to worry about in school was who we could bum a smoke from. No shootings, no bombings and life was pretty good. It was during these years that I became a music lover and have remained that way thru these many years. I can't sing worth a damn but I can sure listen.
I love my music, I grew up with The Beatles and to this day I listen to oldies constantly. In 1964 an old girlfriend invited me to St. Louis to see the The Beatles and I turned her down, that was one of the dumbest mistakes I have ever made, sorry Priscilla, if ya' ever ask me again, I won't turn ya' down, cross my heart and hope to die, damn that was stupid. The Beatles are and will be my favorite group of all time. I listen to The Beatles all the time along with my favorite singer of all time and that would be Jimmy Buffett of course.
Several years ago while drinking beer and cruising Lake Shelbyville on a houseboat, my good friend Marty introduced me to Jimmy's music. Thanks Marty, I will be forever grateful. If I am not listening to the oldies or The Beatles, you can just bet I am listening to Jimmy Buffett. Fans of Jimmy are called Parrotheads and if you are a Parrothead, then you already know by now that the design of this page was inspired by him and his music. His songs are about pirates, sailin', drinkin' and chasing women, see why I like his music so much? If you ever get a chance, listen to the words of his songs and you may git ta like his music like I do. By the way, that's him singin' in the backround. Jeez, why didn't you tell me I was gittin' off the subject?
I graduated from High School in 1966 and that same fall enlisted in the U.S. Coast Guard. I spent my four years on and off of Lake Michigan, first at a life boat station in Two Rivers, Wisconsin, then later as a lighthouse keeper in Manitowoc, Wisconsin. I really enjoyed my time there and ta' tell ya the truth, them cheeseheads aint so bad. They know how ta' drink beer and cook brat's, what else do ya' need?
Manitowoc Breakwater Light
After my discharge from the Coast Guard and yes it was an Honorable Discharge, did ya' really have to ask, I returned to my home town and went to work for a local plumber. That lasted about a year,(you can only put up with so much crap) after which I went to work for the city as a water plant operator. After a couple a years of that, I got this wild hair and decided I wanted to got to college and try ta' git some a that sheepskin. I attended Lake Land College for two years and then went on to graduate with a Bachelor's Degree in Elementary Education from Eastern Illinois University. I swear to ya' if ya' asked where the sheepskin is today, I couldn't tell ya'. I worked as a director for a day care center for a couple of years and then opened one which resulted in a lot a fun, but hell I couldn't make any money. In 1982, I became an Indpendent Insurance Agent, and have remained one until this day. During that time I served on our local city council for 16 years, 8 as an alderman and 8 as Mayor of our city. I am no longer Mayor and do I miss it, yea right, dream on sucka. I am however trying to finish a major project that I started during my term and that is a $350,000 sports complex. When that is done, my political career will be done, Thank God!!!
I know this has been interesting reading and you would love to hear more but it's time for us to move on. So go git another beer and come back and I will spin some more of my story.
This here's me checkin out www. babes.com
Chattin'
Fortunately or unfortunately, chatting on the internet has become one of my favorite hobbies. If I could, I would probly' be involved in some type of chat, morning, noon, or night. I have made a lot of new friends in the chat rooms and I am fairly sure I have made a few enemies, that's life. There are a lot of good people out there and there are a few bad ones. I seem to be able to attract both. I would love to name some of my favorites but sure as hell, I would forget somebody and the excretion would hit the ventilator. Oh I do have to mention Lady Tann and Voni, they were my first best buddies on the web. They always seemed to be able to keep me in line, luv ya girls. My friends all know who they are so I won't dwell on that subject too long.
I got my start with chat in mirc and then graduated or digressed into comic chat which I love. I started a room called strawberry fields forever which means nothing other than I thought it was a pretty good name, not to mention a great Beatles song. I use the room mostly for sending and receiving midi files, I like wavs but they take up a lot of room and also take forever to download. If ya gotta notion, go into comic chat, find my room, drop in and say hi, I wont bite ya, maybe.
Fishin
Well I don't fish like I used ta do but I usually get out once in awhile to wet a hook. The days I go fishing always coincide with gale force winds or the only monsoons what cross this little prarie that I live on.
I mostly bass fish the local lakes and I happen to live in an area that is rich with some great fishing lakes. I have a bass boat that comes in handy when its not bein' used as a storage area for tools, clothes, etc. It dont take me long to throw all that crap on the floor if I take a notion to head out onto the lake. I have had some of the greatest times out fishing and it is with great pride that I tell you about my most memorable one.
You might remember earlier I mentioned my buddies name Marty, the one what introduced me to Jimmy Buffett, well he and I chose one of the hottest days of the year to go fishing. We both made a serious mistake before we ever booked passage on my Bass Boat, he thought he was to bring the beer and I thought I was to bring the beer. Once we got the boat loaded with beer, there wasnt any place to set but we made do. Ahhhh....I cant tell you how smooth that first case went down but let me tell ya, it was righteous. Well it was very hot and the fish werent about ta bite so we just listened to Jimmy Buffet and drank brewskies. Later in the day, marty decides he has ta use the restrooms facilities, you figger it out the boats only 17' long. It was at this time that I decided to weigh anchor and head to someplace outta the sun. I started the boat and commenced to clean up some of the empties so's I could find the steering wheel. Marty was on the back of the boat doing his business and I was picking up cans when all of a sudden, the engine leaped to full throttle. In my desire to get the boat ship shape, I guess I had hit the throttle but i thought that damned Marty was foolin' around again. I looked back at Marty to cuss him for doing such a dastardly act and realized he was no longer aboard. As soon as I could reach the controls I pulled the engine back to idle and looked back for marty. Well what a site he was, flailing his arms while holding this one finger up. I guess it was good that the motor was too loud for me to hear exactly what he was telling me. Needless to say we made it through the rest of the day without further mishaps and we swore never to mix boatin' with drinkin' again, at least for a couple a days.
I probly' should mention that once in awhile my brother hauls me up into Minnesota or Wisconsin to do a little walleye fishin'. Dont ever ask him to put you on the walleye, hell he cant find his own butt with both hands. We do have a great time though and if you ever get the chance, its some of the most beautiful country in the world. Let me give ya one lil' tip, if ya go, dont harass the bears, they got absolutely no sense of humor.
Practical Jokin'
This brings me to one of one of my favorite all time things to do and that is to play practical jokes on people. My fun is never mean-sprited it's all done with fun in mind. I have spent the past 30 years playing tricks on people and they never seem to be able to match my ability to come up with the ultimate in practical jokes.........until now.
Since I am a parrothead, I have had a stuffed parrot hanging from my rear view mirror for some time. About a month ago I went to get into my Blazer and lo' and behold the lil' sumbitch was gone.....stolen. Two weeks later I go to get in my truck and there is a ransom note on the seat. For the next 4 weeks I continue to get these ransom notes and pitures a' my poor birdie via the e-mail. Let me tell you he has been displayed to me in all types of compromising positions. Well anyway, a parrot has been returned to me but it aint the same parrot that they took, I may have to file and official law suit if the damn thing aint back by Christmas. Oh, I know what yer thinking, how could he put the poor parrot through a lengthy court battle after what he has already been through but by golly, I wanna see some heads roll. I will keep you informed of this continuing saga.
Well I think I have told you enough crap for one setting and believe me, you got a lot more important things to do than sit here and read this stuff so I am going to let you get back to a chat room or more likely, ur favert porno site. For now I will bid you adieu and I promise I will continue to update this site so when ya git bored, ya got sompin ta do. Take care my friends. JM.
If this parrot craps on my shoulder, he's goin' in the microwwave.
Email me at: [email protected]